Teaching Kids Empathy: Building Social Awareness

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Noticing & Including Others — Social Awareness Toolkit for Kids

Teaching kids empathy starts with something simple: noticing who’s been left out. Teach your child to look up, look around, and see the people who are left out. This complete social awareness toolkit for children ages 5–12 includes printable “Kindness in Action” cards, an Inclusion Checklist, conversation starters for approaching someone new, and a 7-day practice plan. Built for parents, teachers, and youth leaders who want to raise children who are truly kind — not just well-behaved.

Trust + Quick Proof

Vernon J. DeFlanders Sr.

Author • Educator • Founder, MannersMatterNow.com

Vernon J. DeFlanders Sr. is the author of Teaching Kids Good Manners: The Old School Way and the founder of MannersMatterNow.com. He has spent decades teaching families that true good manners go beyond “please” and “thank you” — they include noticing others, including the left-out, and showing up for the people around you.

“My daughter was always kind to her friends but completely oblivious to the kid sitting alone at lunch. After one week with this toolkit, she started inviting others to sit with her. Her teacher reached out to tell me.”
— Parent of a 9-year-old, Portland, OR

“I used the Inclusion Checklist as a morning circle ritual. Kids started looking out for each other in ways I had never seen before. This toolkit builds the empathy muscle in a very practical way.”
— 4th Grade Teacher, Elementary School, Atlanta, GA

“We tied this into our ‘love your neighbor’ series. The kids understood immediately — seeing others and including them is one of the most tangible ways to live out faith. Beautiful toolkit.”
— Children’s Pastor, Grace Fellowship Church, Indianapolis, IN

What’s Inside

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Noticing Others Cards — Prompts and practice questions that teach children to look around, spot who might be left out, and decide to do something about it.

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Inclusion Checklist — A daily or weekly self-check poster that helps children ask themselves: “Did I include someone today? Did I notice someone who was alone?”

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Conversation Starter Cards — Word-for-word phrases children can use to approach someone new, join a group, or invite a classmate to join them — without the awkward freeze.

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Kindness in Action Cards — 10 specific, age-appropriate acts of inclusion children can do at school, at home, and in their community.

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7-Day Practice Plan — One focus per day with parent coaching notes, discussion questions, and celebration milestones.

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Parent & Teacher Guide — How to introduce the concept of noticing others, handle resistance, and build inclusion as a lasting habit.

How to Use It (7-Day Plan)

1

Start with a Story — Talk about a time your child felt left out. Connect that feeling to others who might feel the same way every day. Set the tone: we notice people because it matters.

2

Learn to Look Around — Introduce the Noticing Others Cards. Practice the “look around” habit: at the lunch table, at recess, at church, at the park. Where are the people sitting alone?

3

Practice the Words — Use the Conversation Starter Cards to role-play approaching someone new. Practice until it feels natural, not forced.

4

Post the Inclusion Checklist — Hang it somewhere visible. Review it each evening: “Did you notice anyone today? Did you do anything about it?” Celebrate every honest answer.

5

Pick a Kindness Action — Choose one Kindness in Action card for your child to try today. Keep it simple — wave to someone, sit with someone new, say “want to play?”

6

Reflect and Share — At dinner, ask: “What did you notice today? What did you do about it?” Let your child tell the story. Praise the effort, not just the outcome.

7

Make It a Habit — Review the week. Set a goal for next week. Keep the Checklist posted. This is a life skill, not a week-long project.