Noticing and Including Others Toolkit for Kids
This complete manners toolkit is designed for children ages 4–12 and teaches one of the quietest and most powerful acts of good character: noticing when someone is left out, and choosing to do something about it. It includes an inclusion awareness poster, conversation starter cards, role-play scripts, a 30-day practice tracker, a 7-day plan, and a parent and teacher coaching guide — ready to use at home, in the classroom, or in a youth group setting. Built for parents, teachers, and youth leaders who believe kindness is a habit you build on purpose.
Trust + Quick Proof
Vernon J. DeFlanders Sr. is the author of Teaching Kids Good Manners: The Old School Way and the founder of MannersMatterNow.com, a character and manners education platform serving families, schools, and youth organizations. He has spent decades teaching young people that respect, courtesy, and good manners are not relics of the past — they are the building blocks of a successful future.
What’s Inside
Six tools that move inclusion from a concept your child hears about to a habit they practice every single day.
The Inclusion Awareness Poster
A printable wall poster with the 5 signs that someone nearby might need to be included — so your child learns what to look for before they know what to do.
Conversation Starter Cards
Eight cards with real, age-appropriate things your child can say to a child who is alone — so they never have to stand there not knowing what to do next.
Inclusion Role-Play Scripts
Ten scenario scripts covering common situations — recess, the lunch table, group projects, new students — so your child rehearses inclusion before it happens in real life.
My 30-Day Inclusion Tracker
A fill-in tracker where your child records one moment of noticing or including someone each day — building the habit through daily attention and reflection.
7-Day Noticing Challenge
A day-by-day plan that walks your child from understanding what inclusion means all the way to making it a practiced, natural response in just one week.
Parent and Teacher Coaching Guide
A complete adult guide with goals, lesson tips, daily check-in questions, how to reinforce inclusion moments at home or in the classroom, and ideas for celebrating growth.
How to Use It (7-Day Plan)
Spend just 10–15 minutes a day with your child this week — by Day 7, they will have the eyes to notice who is left out and the words to do something about it.
Day 1 — See the Need
Read through the Parent Coaching Guide together and talk about what it feels like to be left out — building empathy is the foundation of this entire week.
Day 2 — Learn to Notice
Study the Inclusion Awareness Poster together and practice identifying the five signs someone nearby might need a friend — make it a looking game.
Day 3 — Learn the Words
Read through the Conversation Starter Cards and let your child pick two or three they feel comfortable using — the ones that sound like themselves.
Day 4 — Role-Play Practice
Work through the Inclusion Role-Play Scripts together — your child plays the including child, you play the child who has been left out — and switch roles.
Day 5 — Real-World Challenge
Your child goes into the school day or group setting today with one goal: notice someone who needs including, and do it — then report back at dinner.
Day 6 — Start the Tracker
Begin the 30-Day Inclusion Tracker today — your child records their Day 5 moment and commits to filling it in every day for the next month.
Day 7 — Reflect and Celebrate
Sit down together, review the week, celebrate the moments your child chose to include someone, and talk about what surprised them most about the experience.
Common Struggles
Does this sound familiar? This toolkit was built for exactly these moments:
The Inclusion Awareness Poster trains her eye to notice what is happening outside her circle — because noticing is a skill that has to be developed, not just wished for.
The Conversation Starter Cards give him real words he can actually use — so when he sees the moment, he is not starting from scratch.
The Role-Play Scripts move kindness from a conversation into a practiced skill — so when the real moment arrives, her body already knows what to do.
The 30-Day Inclusion Tracker makes inclusion a small, daily act — one moment at a time — which builds confidence gradually without overwhelming a child who is naturally reserved.
The Faith-Based Add-On is completely optional and clearly separated — the main toolkit works equally well in any secular school, home, or community setting.
Keep the Learning Going
Noticing and Including Others — Frequently Asked Questions
What ages is this toolkit for?
This toolkit is designed for children ages 4–12. Social awareness develops across a wide range in these years, so the adult facilitates based on where the child actually is. Younger children ages 4–6 need simple, concrete examples and lots of modeling. Children 7 and up can grasp the emotional dimension more fully and benefit from the role-play and discussion components.
Can teachers use this in the classroom?
Yes — the toolkit is designed to work in group settings of any size. Teachers have used the Conversation Starter Cards as a morning circle activity, the Role-Play Scripts during social-emotional learning time, and the 30-Day Tracker as a class-wide challenge. It works for individual students and entire classrooms equally well.
How long does it take daily?
The 7-Day Noticing Challenge is structured for 10–15 minutes a day. The 30-Day Tracker takes only a minute or two per day to fill in once the habit is established. The goal is to make inclusion a daily awareness, not an extra subject to study.
Is this toolkit faith-based or secular?
The main toolkit is fully secular and works in any home, classroom, or community program. A Faith-Based Add-On is included for families and youth groups who want to connect these lessons to scripture and faith values about loving your neighbor. The two sections are clearly separated so you use what fits your setting.
Do I need to buy the book to use this toolkit?
No. This toolkit stands completely on its own — everything you need is inside. If you want to explore the broader character-based manners framework, Vernon’s book Teaching Kids Good Manners: The Old School Way is available on Amazon and goes deeper into the principles behind every toolkit.
How is this different from just talking to my child about being kind?
Talking plants the idea. This toolkit builds the skill. The difference is that your child gets specific words to say, specific situations to rehearse, and a daily structure for putting inclusion into practice — so kindness becomes something they do, not just something they intend.
Related Toolkits & Resources
Ready to Teach Your Child Inclusion the Old-School Way?
Download the toolkit today and start the 7-Day Noticing Challenge this week — everything is printed and ready the moment it arrives in your inbox. A child who learns to notice and include others does not just become a better friend — they become the kind of person who makes every room they walk into a little better.
Get the Toolkit – $7.99