Old-School Etiquette Toolkit

Old-School Etiquette Toolkit for Kids

The values your grandparents lived by — written for the children of today. Teach your child the old-school etiquette habits that build character: how to greet, dine, converse, and carry themselves with the kind of dignity that’s becoming rare. Built for parents, grandparents, and teachers who believe these values still matter — maybe more than ever.

See How To Use It
Get the Toolkit – $9.99

Trust + Quick Proof

Vernon J. DeFlanders Sr.

Vernon J. DeFlanders Sr.

Author • Educator • Founder, MannersMatterNow.com

Vernon J. DeFlanders Sr. is the author of Teaching Kids Good Manners: The Old School Way and the founder of MannersMatterNow.com. He grew up in a generation where kids stood when adults entered the room, said “yes, sir” without rolling their eyes, and knew the difference between a salad fork and a dinner fork. He built this toolkit to pass those values forward — because the old ways still work.

“My granddaughter is 9 and uses the Do vs. Don’t poster like a checklist. Last Sunday she stood up when my pastor came to the table. He nearly cried.”
— Grandmother of three, Atlanta, GA
“I’m a 5th-grade teacher and I made the etiquette sampler part of our weekly lesson. My students are quoting it back to each other in the cafeteria. Best $9.99 I’ve ever spent.”
— Elementary School Teacher, Knoxville, TN
“We’re raising our kids in a world that doesn’t model these things anymore. This toolkit gave me a way to teach them at home — without it feeling like a lecture.”
— Father of four, Phoenix, AZ

How to Use It (7-Day Plan)

Parent and child practicing old-school etiquette
1

Day 1 — Open the Conversation

Show your child the cover of the toolkit. Ask: “What do you think old-school etiquette means?” Listen first. Don’t lecture.

2

Day 2 — The Sampler Poster

Read the Do vs. Don’t sampler together. Pick the one that surprised them most — that’s the one to focus on this week.

3

Day 3 — Greetings & Introductions

Practice walking up to a grown-up, looking them in the eye, offering a handshake, and saying their name back to them. Out loud, until it feels natural.

4

Day 4 — Table Manners Walkthrough

At dinner, work through the dining table guide one rule at a time. Make it a game, not a test.

5

Day 5 — Art of Social Interaction

Role-play meeting a new neighbor, saying hello to a teacher, and ending a conversation politely. These are skills — they need practice.

6

Day 6 — Digital Etiquette Day

Read the Netiquette section together. Discuss one habit your child wants to change online — and why.

7

Day 7 — Real-World Test

Take your child somewhere their etiquette will be visible — church, a restaurant, a family gathering. Debrief afterward. Celebrate what they did well.

Real-World Test — Take your child somewhere their etiquette will be visible — church, a restaurant, a family gathering. Debrief afterward. Celebrate what they did well.

What’s Inside

Old-School Etiquette toolkit on a wooden table
1

Old-School Etiquette Sampler

A printable Do vs. Don’t poster covering greetings, table behavior, conversation, and respectful posture — written in language kids actually understand.

2

Table Manners Walkthrough

Step-by-step guidance on navigating the dining table — from “napkin in your lap” to “never reach across someone” — with illustrated do’s and don’ts.

3

Art of Social Interaction

How to introduce yourself, look someone in the eye, offer a firm handshake, and make a respectful first impression.

4

Decoding Formal Events

What to do at weddings, funerals, formal dinners, and church — clothing, behavior, conversation, and respect for the moment.

5

Digital Etiquette (Netiquette)

Old-school respect translated for the screen age — texting, posting, commenting, and being a good digital citizen.

6

Teacher & Parent Guide

How to introduce these standards as family or classroom values — without it feeling like a sermon.

Teacher & Parent Guide — How to introduce these standards as family or classroom values — without it feeling like a sermon.

Common Struggles

Does this sound familiar? This toolkit was built for exactly these moments:

“He doesn’t even look up when adults walk into the room.”

The Greetings section walks step-by-step through standing, eye contact, and what to say. Within a week, you’ll see a different child.

“Her table manners are embarrassing — and she doesn’t seem to care.”

The Table Manners Walkthrough turns vague rules into specific, learnable habits. Once it’s a game, kids actually engage.

“He has no idea how to act at formal events.”

The Decoding Formal Events section gives you concrete language and behavior coaching for weddings, funerals, church, and family gatherings.

“Her online behavior is everything we don’t want — and we don’t know how to address it.”

The Digital Etiquette section gives you a framework for talking about online respect that doesn’t feel like surveillance.

“I want my kids to know the old ways, but I don’t know where to start.”

Start with day 1. Open the conversation. The toolkit walks you through the rest.

Keep the Learning Going

The MannersMatterNow App gives your child matching interactive practice to reinforce every skill in this toolkit. Pair the printables with daily app sessions for faster, lasting results. Visit MannersMatterNow.com to explore all available toolkits and resources.

Print it. Practice it. Reinforce it.

Open the MannersMatterNow App

Built on the Book Parents Already Trust

Every technique in this toolkit comes from the framework in Teaching Kids Good Manners the Old-School Way — rated 4.8 stars with over 140 reviews on Amazon. The book gives you the complete parenting philosophy. This toolkit gives your child the daily practice. Together, they build habits that last.

See the Book on Amazon →

Built on the book. Scan to find it on Amazon.
Scan to get the book on Amazon

amazon.com/dp/B0GG6KGQK7

Old-School Etiquette Toolkit — Frequently Asked Questions

What age is this toolkit designed for?

Children ages 6–14. Younger kids will need parent guidance; older kids can use it more independently. The Teacher & Parent Guide includes age-band suggestions.

Is this toolkit faith-based or secular?

The Old-School Etiquette Toolkit is fully secular and works in any setting — home, school, public programs, or community groups. An optional faith-friendly framing is included for families and youth groups who want to connect these skills to values of respect and service. The main toolkit stands completely on its own without it.

Is this faith-friendly?

Yes. The values reflect a wide tradition of Judeo-Christian and family-grounded etiquette — without being preachy. Faith-based families will feel right at home.

Is the content too old-fashioned for modern kids?

We hear this often — and the answer is no. Children respond to clear standards, not vague suggestions. The framing is timeless; the application is right now.

Can grandparents use this?

Absolutely. Many of our best users ARE grandparents. The toolkit gives you a structured way to pass down what your generation learned naturally.

What format does this come in?

Instant-download PDF. Print the posters, laminate the etiquette card, and use the sampler at the kitchen table for family discussions.

Is there a refund policy?

Yes. If you’re not satisfied within 30 days, contact us and we’ll make it right.

Related Toolkits & Resources

Respect for Adults Toolkit — The companion guide to old-school respect for elders, teachers, and family.
Table Manners Toolkit — Goes deeper on dining etiquette — perfect to pair with this one.
Conversation Skills Toolkit — The art of conversation — old-school style, taught for today’s kids.
Teaching Kids Good Manners the Old-School Way (Article) — The flagship article that started Vernon’s mission.
Manners Kids Have Forgotten — The behaviors that disappeared in one generation — and how to bring them back.
Teaching Kids to Respect Authority — Why old-school respect for authority figures still matters.

Pass Down the Values That Built Your Family

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Get the Toolkit – $9.99

MannersMatterNow.com — Because manners still matter.